


We accidentally adopted over 24 children

by EmmeBearPaw, LtMooMoo



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Byleth Doesn't Pick a House, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everything is Mostly Fine!, F/F, F/M, Female My Unit | Byleth, Fluff, Jeralt is a good dad, M/M, Male My Unit | Byleth, Memes, Mental Health Issues, Mother Hen Byleth, Multi, No Teacher-Student Romances, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Time Skip, Pre-Time Skip Spoilers, Seteth is a Boomer, These Kids are Sad, Twin Byleth AU, chat fic elements, check notes for content warnings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-09-07 02:01:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20301601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmeBearPaw/pseuds/EmmeBearPaw, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LtMooMoo/pseuds/LtMooMoo
Summary: How did a hike in the woods end up with Bereto and Byllia Eisner teaching at a school for royals and helping kids work through their emotional and psychological problems? A lack of school funding.A fluffy fic all about helping the kids get happy instead of the big sad of canon.





	1. It was Not, in Fact, a Temporary Position

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was born out of our need to protect our children and make them happy, and realizing how sad all of these kids are. Also, there are two Byleths, Bereto (male) and Byllia (female), because we couldn't choose. 
> 
> If a chapter in the future has a content warning, you'll be able to find it here, as clearly as possible, keep yourself safe while reading.

This day had not gone as planned. Unless you called running through the forest with your dad, brother, and three random teenagers after saving them from robbers, "planned". 

Byllia, her brother and father had planned a nice, relaxing hiking and camping trip in the Daclov forest, known for its fair weather and large mountains. It was likely due to that fair weather, that the Garreg Mach Royal Academy (and monastery, because why not?) were located just north of the forest. The plan for a nice, relaxing trip had ended when ...

  


* * *

“See, this is why we came out here, the gentle breeze, and the sound of birds chirping all around!” Jeralt exclaimed, stopping to adjust his backpack. The sound of a person screaming in terror rang out.

“Dad, I don’t think that’s a bird.” Bereto pointed out. 

“I’m pretty sure you're right about that one, Byllia, grab the pepper spray, it’s probably a cougar,” Jeralt warned.

Before she even had time to grab it from her bag, three teenagers, no older than 19 came crashing out from the brush, at a full sprint, with luggage.

“Oh god more bandits!” Screamed a boy with dark brown hair and tan skin.

“Your shoUTING IS DOING NOTHING TO HELP THIS SITUATION!” Exclaimed a girl with blonde hair, also screaming.

“We, aren’t bandits? Are, are you guys ok?” Jeralt looked at the three with concern.

“No.” Sighed the boy with blond hair and blue eyes.

“Ok, great talk, you said there were bandits?” Byllia shouted, pulling out pepper spray, showing the slightest bit of excitement on her face. As if on cue, two men in camo came out from the same direction that the teens had just arrived from, malice in their eyes. 

“Well well, it looks like they found some little friends, guess we’ll just have to beat them up too, eh Jimmy?” One of the men said with a sinister grin.

“Yeah! Yeah! More goods to back to bring back to Robert” The other one responded, pulling out a small knife.

“No thanks.” Byllia nonchalantly denied before spraying both of them in the face with bear repellant.

“Oh god! My eyes! AaaAA” Both of them running off to who knows where probably nowhere considering neither of them could see.

“Are you three alright?” Jeralt approached the teens, inspecting for any signs of wounds, luckily finding none.

“Yes, we are quite ok now that we are no longer being chased. Thank you for your help, we’ll be on our way now.” The blonde-haired boy nodded in thanks before turning to leave, the other two promptly following.

“No, you never know if there are more bandits, we’ll be taking you wherever you need to be going, that alright with you two?” Jeralt offered. Bereto and Byllia shrugged, it's not like they had anywhere particular to be.

The boy with dark brown hair grinned. “Yeah s—“

The girl with blonde hair cut him off with a slight glare. “No. We’re fine, we can defend ourselves.”

The blonde-haired boy nodded in agreement.

Jeralt shook his head. “Oh c’mon no need to be like that, it’ll be much safer anyways. Unless you call running away as you fearfully scream ‘defending yourself.’” He jeered a bit with a teasing smile.

The blonde-haired boy looked away, and although he tried to hide it, it was obvious he was embarrassed. The blonde-haired girl only stayed silent and the dark brown-haired boy laughed good-naturedly.

“..Fine.” She finally spoke. “Our campus shouldn’t be too far from here.” She said before walking off. They ran up to catch up to the girl, walking side by side now.

“Oh, right! I suppose we forgot to introduce ourselves!” The tan boy finally spoke up. He turned to the twins. They looked up but showed little interest. “Name’s Claude! Claude Von Riegan, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He winked playfully, although the only reaction he got was a deep sigh from the blonde-haired boy.

“Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd.” He nodded in acknowledgment.

And lastly. “Edelgard von Hresvelg. And… Thank you for saving us back there. We appreciate it.” She hesitantly thanked.

Byllia nodded. “It was nothing.” She shrugged. Well, It really wasn’t. All she did was spray them with pepper spray after all.

* * *

After walking down the dirt path leading off the highway for around 20 minutes, they approached a large, castle-like school, on top of a short mountain. Garreg Mach Royal Academy (and monastery), the leading academy for Fódlan’s royals and a lucky few commoners. People not attending or working there usually never got to see the inside, yet here Byllia is, with her brother and father, talking to the principal (Who they soon knew as Rhea), who is also the head of the most popular religion of the continent. As she said, this day was weird.

“Thank you very much for ensuring the safety of our students on the way to school, usually we have someone walk the students back, however, we’ve been short-staffed this year.” The green-haired lady spoke. She had this, strange, almost royal aura to her, but perhaps that was due to the fact she was wearing a very out of place — yet stunning — crown on top of her head.

“Ah. You have been?” Jeralt quirked an eyebrow with suspicion.

“Yes…”

“...” No one spoke a word, making the atmosphere all the tenser.

“Well, we would love for you to stay and at least have a meal or stay the night, it is getting quite late” The principal finally spoke up with a kind smile.

“Yes, it is, thank you for the. Generous. Offer.” Jeralt distrustfully managed to say through gritted teeth.

“Dinner hour is in 40 minutes.” She said with no expression on her face as they walked out the door.

* * *

“All she did was offer us food and a bed for a night, this isn’t anything permanent Dad.” Byllia reasoned. There shouldn’t be anything to worry about, right?

“It’s not like you to be paranoid like this, has she done something to wrong you in the past?” Bereto asked. Jeralt was always one to speak kindly to — and of — many people, so his behavior seemed a bit out of character.

“I used to work with her, ran security for her and the church, around the time your mother was pregnant with you two,” Jeralt spoke slowly, his expression seemed a little more somber now.

“Ah.” Bereto hummed as he pondered. Perhaps... Did she hurt him during that time somehow?

The students fluttered in, some to grab a meal and go back to their room, others striking up superficial conversations with the other students, and then there was Rhea, with a shameful expression on her face.

“Look, usually, we don't do hiring like this, however, there’s only one full day left until the beginning of school, and you two seem trustworthy enough, would you two be interested in temporarily filling the teaching positions, just until we find new teachers, of course.” Rhea offered with a polite smile.

“Sure, why not, it’s just a couple of kids for a week or so.” They shrugged in agreement. But little did they know, it did not turn out to be a temporary position.

Not at all.


	2. I Swear to the Goddess Why do They Only Serve Tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to Sothis we'll get to the meat of the plot soon enough, I just can't write all that often and when I can write my brain will only throw me like, 1000 words. -EmmeBearPaw
> 
> No content warning

It was cold. Cold and hard. Surely, the pillow on the bed that Bereto had been set up with last-minute wasn’t that awful, no, this was hard, like a rock. He tried to open his eyes, they would not budge, odd. A faint footstep could be heard… followed by another, slightly louder, then another, then another, growing closer each and every time. Then it was silent. Nothing but the cold, hard, incredibly awkwardly shaped sleeping position, and a faint breath. His muscles suddenly screamed out in pain.

And then he woke up. He jolted upright only to grasp his neck in pain. It was practically throbbing. What the hell was that..? He blinks his eyes a few times before glancing at his clock. 

Ah, right, he had to get ready for school. Which sounded strange at first, but he soon remembered that he was an actual “ _ teacher”  _ now./ It was quite early, barely passing 4:30 am, breakfast didn’t even start until 6:30 if he recalled correctly. He got up anyway, he wasn’t going to be falling back asleep, even though the pain in his neck had gone away, just as quick as it came on.

He shook his head. The dream probably meant nothing so he shrugged it off. He had more important things to worry about anyway. He hopped out of bed before lazily brushing his teeth. Dental care was still important, he supposes. He slips on his jacket, making sure to wear it incorrectly before walking out of his room.

He stepped out, the trees outside of his room gently rustled; the moon slowly descending back behind the tall building. He ambled down the tiled walkway, figuring he could use this time to learn his way around. No one was up after all, well, except for the cats.

* * *

The sun rose, the others awakened, and Bereto got the first choice to… tea… curses royals and their preference for tea. After having to request access to the food storage area and searching for 20 minutes, he managed to find a single bag of coffee tucked away in the back, it would last he and his sister the week though. After brewing three cups of coffee, he returned to the noisy hive of the cafeteria. He recognized a few familiar faces, the three kids they rescued from bandits milled about, he waved at the girl, Edelgard was her name? When he did, the vampire looking man glared daggers into his soul, a... great sign... if he was being honest. He continued walking, finally reaching the table his sister and father had sat down at, delivering coffee to both of them, and enjoy a nice breakfast.

Nothing was ever that simple though, was it?

  
  


“Ah, you must be the new temporary teachers, I am Hanneman, the science teacher, you must be the Eisners.” An older looking man with graying hair and a monocle gave the family a polite smile.

“Hey, there hot stuff, I’m Manuela, but you can call me anytime~” A middle-aged lady wearing a... Skimpier outfit greeted with a small wink and a flirtatious smirk.

“Ma’am, I don’t know how to tell you this, but these are your new coworkers,  _ my children _ , Bereto and Byllia, I am their  _ father _ .” Jeralt only stared back with a deadpan look on his face.

“And that is a problem because..?” Manuela winked again as if that would make it better. The room went silent for a few moments before Byllia spoke up again.

“So, what do you teach?” She asked, ignoring everything that Manuela had just said.

“Oh, yes, I teach English and run the choir club, I used to perform in operas you know, but now I’m single and-” Manuela was cut off by the other teacher— Hanneman— If Bereto remembered correctly.   
  
“That is quite enough Manuela. Rhea informed us of your employment and also sent us to inform you of the commencement ceremony tonight at 7 P.M. We will be on our way now, won’t we Manuela?” The last part almost seemed forceful, especially with the way Hanneman narrowed his eyes and spoke with a gritted smile.

“Yes, of course, see you tonight.” Manuela cleared her throat before giving a small smile as she and the older man awkwardly shuffled away from the already awkward enough atmosphere. 

* * *

  
  


“Well, I’ve got my stuff all ready to go,” Jeralt announced as he held al his luggage up.

“Ah, you aren’t going to stay?” Byllia frowned.   
  


“No, no, you know I’ve got  _ my _ work to attend to as well. Sorry kid.” He gave her a small pat on the head.

“Yeah…” Byllia sighed.

“Well, if you need anything then you know my number, just give me a call. Oh yeah, call me when they get the permanent teachers in to replace you guys!” Jeralt gave them his signature smile.

“We will Dad.” Bereto nodded.

“Well then, I’ll call you when I get home.”

“Looking forward to it, Dad.” Byllia nodded before moving back closer to her brother.

Jeralt paused for a moment before turning away. Only moments later and he was already facing the two again with that same old hearty grin. 

“Oh come here you two.” He enveloped the twins in a big hug, squeezing them tightly. Once he pulled away he gave them one last smile.

“I’ll call you soon.”

And he was off.


	3. Wait a Minute, I Don't Know How to Teach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! Sorry for not uploading last week, I don't have an excuse or anything I just played Minecraft all weekend to be honest. Please take our hot garbage we call a fic. -EmmeBearPaw

How long had it been? Hours? Days? Byllia looked down at her phone, it had only been 3 minutes since the last time she had checked. It turns out the “commencement ceremony” was less of a ceremony and more of a test of willpower. Rhea had been droning on and for at least 40 minutes straight, none of it was all that interesting in Byllia’s opinion. She opened Biscorb, hoping to alleviate some boredom.

Thing 2: Bro bro  
Thing 2: This is super boring, let's play tic tac toe

He hadn’t even moved. She leaned forward so she could see down the row of seats to where he was sitting, his eyes were closed, his breathing steady. Rhea’s rambling on the history of Garreg Mach… had put him to sleep. Looks like she had to entertain herself for the next 7 billion hours this speech would probably go on for.

She looked about the auditorium, the teachers had all been sat in the back to be able to watch over the students and ensure they weren’t on their phones, but none of the teachers really cared enough to stop them. Many of the teachers were using their phones themselves, after all. She looked ahead towards the students, few were actually paying attention, most were talking quietly among themselves, or on their phones, not finding any interest in what happened to the monks of Garreg Mach in 1294 or whatever Rhea was talking about now.

  
She watched on as a blue hair student kept attempting to wake up a green hair student, as he repeatedly tried to go to sleep. The next row over, the boy she met the other day, Claude was having a conversation with a pink-haired girl. The chaotic energy the two were giving off was… very high. On the other side of the auditorium was a red-haired student, his arm resting dangerously on a long tied up blonde-haired student’s chair. Byllia watched as he gave said student a flirtatious grin, soon to be returned with a loud slap from the braided blonde-haired student beside him. The auditorium went silent, and everyone turned toward the source of the noise.

Rhea was taken aback by the sudden sound, “Well, moving on from the history of this academy, I suppose it is high time I talk about the three houses of this academy.” Down the row of seats, a woman with purple hair elbowed Bereto to wake him up.

“As you all well know, here at Garreg Mach Royal Academy, we sort the incoming students into 3 different teams each year, to foster communication and leadership skills, and promote high scholastic achievement through competition. The houses have been sorted based on country as the bonds you develop between your team will be essential to leading effectively in the future. This year, students from the Adrestian Empire will be the House of the Black Eagles and will be led by Edelgard von Hresvelg. Students from the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus will be the House of the Blue Lions, led by Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd. And finally, students from the Leicester Alliance will be the House of The Golden Deer, led by Claude von Riegan. Each house can gain or lose points based off of the behavior of its members…”

Byllia perks up at the mention of houses. Finally, something interesting that actually seemed useful. She looked to her side and gently nudged the blonde haired lady beside her.

“So.. Do I have to choose a house or something?” She asked in a quiet voice.

The other teacher laughed. “No, you’re teaching one subject, what kind of school would make their teachers be good at everything at this age of students?” In theory, the thought hadn’t seemed too ideal, but Byllia figured she should’ve asked anyway just in case.

She shrugged. “I suppose you’re right. It would be ludicrous for a school system to do something like that.”

Then it hit her. She didn’t even know what subject she was going to teach and school started... Well, tomorrow. Rhea was still rambling so now was probably not the best time to interject. She made up her mind that she’d approach her after the ridiculously long assembly and ask then. Whenever it ended.

* * *

After five more years of Rhea going on a tangent about the history of the academy, Byllia walked up to the principal, Bereto following behind her.

“Do you two need something?” She smiled sweetly, making Jeralt’s previous distrust in her seem strange.

“We were wondering what classes we were going to teach. You forgot to tell us.”

“Oh, right. Mr. Eisner, you will be teaching History, and Ms. Eisner, you will be teaching self-defense.” Bereto nodded in thanks, and the two walked off back to their rooms. At the door, Bereto suddenly turned to Byllia.

“...Byllia, we don’t have any lesson plans.”

“Fuck.”

“...School starts tomorrow.”

“_Fuck._“ 

* * *

Three in the morning is not the best time to be making lesson plans, especially with no experience, the day before, wait, no— the day that school starts. Bereto and Byllia had been brainstorming together for hours and they didn’t even have 3 days planned, at the beginning of the year, when it should be the easiest. If they had to stay more than a week, they really would be screwed. History was definitely the harder of the two subjects to plan for, and the sole reason for the multiple late-night trips to the library and google to find what they even needed to be teaching. But at last! They were done! And classes started in like, 3 hours! Is this what every teacher went through or were they just unqualified idiots? To be honest, It was probably the latter but hey, at least they had a plan, all they had to do was just stick to the plan and everything will turn out fine and they’ll get a nice paycheck and get to go home next week.

If only it was that simple.


End file.
